I need to change

I was going to start with the Chesterton story I've told a thousand times, but then I realized everyone has heard it. The short version is that Chesterton answered the question of "What is wrong with the world?" by saying "I am".

There are so many areas which I know almost nothing about in theology, I need to figure out alot, but I firmly believe the Catholic Church is Christ's Church, and that when I learn, my learning must be shaped by her teaching.

I have a quasi-Anglo-Catholic view of Ecclesiology, and an ever-shifting confused theory of justification that resembles all the nicest parts of Trent, Peter Kreeft, Richard John Neuhaus, and Louis Bouyer. I also have a heart-wrenching desire for ecumenism and for everyone I know to just tell me that I am indeed a Christian. This is a foolish, dangerous and unreachable quest.

I am reminded by this blog http://pontifications.wordpress.com/ecclesiological-relativism/
of how much I need to just accept that I have chosen Rome, I've made my decision, and most people aren't going to like it, understand it, or agree with it.

But such is life, I have sided with Newman, I have swum the Tiber, and I must now continue my catechesis...

Peter Kreeft said that the Catholic faith is either the greatest story ever told, or the most terrible lie ever developed. I think I was looking for a middle road (no wonder Anglicanism always appealed to me).

At the end of the day when asked that terrible question : When Did The Catholic Church Stop Being The One True Church? I can't answer with the Orthodox: 1054, I can't answer with the Protestants: 1563, and I have already publically joined the Communion with Rome, I am glad I did it, I still affirm it as the best choice, but it still hurts because of all the loved ones and friends I have outside it.